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Women want one kind of man. Unfortunately, men want one kind of woman.

When you run an online dating platform, you get to learn all sorts of things about people. Some nice things and some ... less nice things.

Women want one kind of man. Unfortunately, men want one kind of woman.

Meet Christian Rudder.

He's the co-founder of OkCupid. It's a huge dating site. He's learned all kinds of crazy stuff about who we are when we think no one is looking.

People in general conform to stereotype far more than you would think. "It's like a 'Saturday Night Live' sketch," Christian says. Common phrases that white guys use to describe themselves include "hunting," "fishing," and "blond hair." The #1 phrase for Asian guys? "Tall for an Asian."

Some of it is, honestly, depressing.

He's examined over 30 million people's dating profiles, and he's learned all kinds of things.


How many people have sex on the first date, for example (54%). How many believe in the death penalty (39%). That sort of thing.

And then, more disturbing facts.

Like these two charts:

You read that right.

Women are looking for guys around their age. And guys are looking for nubile co-eds.

That just doesn't add up.

As for race, it turns out that black users get about 25% fewer interactions on the site than other people.

The crazy part is that he hasn't given up on all of us yet.


If Christian can look at line after line of eye-blurring, stereotype-confirming, sometimes racist, sometimes desperate data and see individual humans, each on their own journey, then surely the rest of us can, too.

Seeing ourselves in aggregate can be a wake-up call. It's a chance to question whether we're doing something we believe in or acting out of social conditioning and habit.

I never thought I'd say this, but maybe a dating site — or at least its data — can make us all a little bit better.

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels
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Increasingly customers are looking for more conscious shopping options. According to a Nielsen survey in 2018, nearly half (48%) of U.S. consumers say they would definitely or probably change their consumption habits to reduce their impact on the environment.

But while many consumers are interested in spending their money on products that are more sustainable, few actually follow through. An article in the 2019 issue of Harvard Business Review revealed that 65% of consumers said they want to buy purpose-driven brands that advocate sustainability, but only about 26% actually do so. It's unclear where this intention gap comes from, but thankfully it's getting more convenient to shop sustainably from many of the retailers you already support.

Amazon recently introduced Climate Pledge Friendly, "a new program to help make it easy for customers to discover and shop for more sustainable products." When you're browsing Amazon, a Climate Pledge Friendly label will appear on more than 45,000 products to signify they have one or more different sustainability certifications which "help preserve the natural world, reducing the carbon footprint of shipments to customers," according to the online retailer.

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Edith Ornelas, co-creator of Mariposas Collective in Memphis, Tenn.

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